Kiya’s Story

That was then… this is now:

Moving into a group home can be a scary unknown.  For Kiya this was true.  She was a 14-year-old who was pregnant and as she says “a little wild.”  Kiya also came to us with experiences that no one should have to go through.  These experiences made her not trust others and sometimes not even trust herself.  Despite this, she was thrown into a program where she had to rely on others and share her story in order to get the help and support she needed.  Kiya spent the majority of the next 6 years living with us and shared many life milestones with the staff of Homespace.  Kiya gave birth to her daughter, graduated from high school (on her daughters 3^rd birthday) and graduated from a nursing program.  Kiya was also the first of our residents to move through the spectrum of care that we offer – first living at Second Chance then SILP and finally moving into her own Community SILP apartment which she still lives in today.

The day I interviewed Kiya was a month after she aged out of care.  She was still living in her community apartment that was secured by Homespace and she shared many stories of her time at Homespace as well as feedback and hope for other residents and staff. 

To current SILP residents she suggested saving their money.  Kiya stated that she often tried to “get over staff” by spending her PNA on stuff that were not basic needs however this only hurt her in the end.  Kiya felt that if she would have stuck to the budget provided by her IL workers she could have had a lot more savings.  Kiya said that once the PNA stops real life begins and things are not cheap. 

Kiya also stated that she would tell residents, especially those younger residents, to have self-love.  Life should not be about depending on a man.  Young women need to find out what they are passionate about, what they want in life. Kiya also would caution other young women to be careful about how much they give to others including family and boyfriends.  Kiya stated that due to being in the program she often had things that others around her did not have (extra money, an apartment, etc.).  Kiya would like others to know that these things may disappear once out of care and you want to be sure that those you helped along the way will also help you when you need it.  She said that its ok to be selfish; this would have allowed her to better plan for her and her daughter’s future. 

Kiya would also tell other young women to believe in themselves; just because you made choices as a young person does not mean your life stops.  Kiya wanted other to know that it is up to them to create the best possible life for you and your child.  Whether it is Homespace staff or not, surround yourself with people that love you and your child.  Success is in your hands, you have the power. If you fall, get back on track and remember why you entered the program.

To the staff she suggested that we continue to allow parents to have some freedom with their children.  Give parenting advice but let mothers learn their own style and fail and succeed on their own sometimes.  Kiya also enjoyed the activities that she was allowed to participate in including Disney on Ice, Gala Awards, Mother Days Bruch, Darien Lake, Fantasy Island, Cheesecake Factory and Sheas.  She encouraged Homespace to continue to find ways to fund these events. Kiya was especially grateful to our Executive Director Kim Morris for always supporting and encouraging these events.  Kiya also had an amazing county worker at the end Valerie Nix.  Kiya stated that although she had distrust at first with yet another worker she came to trust and love Valerie who was always there for her and encouraging her to be her best for her and her daughter.  Kiya stated that those staff that she was able to build relationships with were “real” and gave her advice and feedback even when she didn’t always want it.  She said that they picked her up when she was down and told her the truth no matter what.

Some things that Kiya would change would be more incentives for youth pursuing their education. Kiya feels that although staff were supportive of her pursing an education past her high school diploma she often felt alone in the struggle.  Kiya understands that she was in an independent living program but would like more hands-on help, financial support and incentives for college.  Kiya admitted that she was not always program compliant but would also encourage staff to kick out youth who don’t follow the rules and stop giving so many second chances. 

Although never easy Kiya was grateful for a program like Homespace and for the staff that stuck by her side and never gave up including some Homespace staff and her county worker Valerie.  Kiya stated that foster care in general gave her time to focus and opened her eyes to what other possibilities there are in life.  Kiya sadly felt that if it was not for foster care she may have 3-5 children and be on public assistance. Kiya also feels that her experience allowed her to become a better mother.  She now understands that she can control herself and her life experiences for her daughter.  She said that she is more mindful of who she exposes her daughter to and what life experiences she wants her daughter to have.  Kiya also said that she is aware now of the importance of taking care of herself mentally and physically and although she is still working on that area of her life she knows this needs to remain a priority.